EDITOR'S NOTE: Linz had the baby on Oct. 8. What you are about to read took place on Oct. 3, 2008 - just over a year ago. It was probably one of the most painful and difficult times in mine and Lindsey's life. Oddly enough, I am thankful we went through it. If we hadn't, then wouldn't have the bundle of wonderful that is Jack Wesley Clark.
Jack's a thinker!
It was a typical Friday. Linz and I were excited to have a restful weekend.
I had to work on Saturday because of the state elections, but I could sleep in because we couldn't do anything until polls closed at 8 p.m.
That Friday was pretty easy. Nothing major at work, which allowed me to indulge at lunch. A co-worker and I went to a local sushi joint. We ate and were headed back to work when Lindsey called me.
I immediately knew something was wrong. She can't call me during the day because she's busy with her class. She explained that she was cramping and had bled a little bit. She called the doctor, and they told her to come in right away. I wasn't far behind.
The doctor had already seen Lindsey by the time I got there. I opened the exam room door, and looked at Lindsey. Her eyes were red and slightly puffy, and her eye makeup had started to run. She had not been crying tears of joy.
She had a miscarriage.
We were devastated. Our life changed profoundly when we found out Lindsey was pregnant. Now it was less than a month later, and our lives were changing again.
All those hopes and dreams that we had for this child vanished. All the memories that we had yet to create turned into pain.
It was too much for me to handle. I couldn't dwell on it, because I had to focus on trying to console my wife.
Apparently, miscarriages are common. My mother had five total. We had friends family who had several. So we weren't alone. But we couldn't take solace in that.
Regardless of how common it is, it's still devastating.
Lindsey was a ball of tears. Even our dog knew how sad she was. He would snuggle up next to her while she lay on the bed and, every once in a while, lick the tears off her face.
While the miscarriage was tough for me, I couldn't imagine how traumatic it was for my wife.
And the worst part of it was having to watch her suffer through the grief. I felt helpless.
I've always been able to make her feel better by saying something or hugging her or giving her a kiss. But none of that worked this time. This was a pain beyond my powers. It ripped my heart out. Time was the only antidote.
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